Mistakes All Single Christian Women Should Avoid

Mistakes That All Single Christian Women Should Avoid

Family, Dating and Relationships
October 27, 2014
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here are many godly strategies that single Christian women should incorporate in their daily lives. And I believe that as anything you focus on grows, you shouldn’t focus on the negative. Meaning, you don’t focus on what you don’t want in order to get what you do want. But let’s face it, sometimes we need to know what not to do, what not to wear, and what not to say when it comes to affairs of the heart. So here are a few mistakes that I’ve found that all single Christian women should avoid.

1) Putting work above everything else. I know. The Bible says that if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat. But it also tells us that Jesus came so we could have an abundant life. And I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean one where we work all the time on a job we hate or tolerate, have no friends, or personal interests. One where we have no meaningful ties to our community or where we have no impact at all on others.

If you’re a workaholic, take time now to figure out how you can cut back on hours to start building up your personal life

2) Not having or not consistently cultivating a strong social network. Friends, family and adopted family are critical for single Christian women. Without them, we will not survive. If you think you can make it in this life without people who love and care about you, you will merely exist. Whether you marry or remain single, the richness of your single life will depend on the strength of your social network.

So if you’ve been slacking in nurturing your social network, pick up the phone and reach out to your friends and family. And keep doing it!

3) Having sex with men you’re not married to. I won’t go holy-roller on you with this one. Although…God’s stance on

sex outside of marriage is clear. No matter how you slice and dice it, having sex with someone you’re not married to impacts you negatively. If you don’t think so, stop and think about the last man you had sex with and committed yourself to…who still left you with no prospect of marriage when you wanted to be married. How did it make you feel? Be honest. Not good.

So if you’re not completely sold on no sex outside of marriage, try it out for 90 days.

I promise you’ll be able to better judge the men who approach you and be better able to walk away from those who don’t want the same things you want.

4) Not knowing what you want or need. And not knowing the difference between wants and needs is just as bad. You have a right to ask for what you need and want. Just keep in mind that no man will ever be a perfect man. He may be perfect for you but he’ll be flawed just like you. So dare to figure out what you need to feel safe, secure and loved. And believe that you can have it.

5) Not being open-minded. Does your husband have to look like you? Or have another preferred similarity? True love can come in any form. And I guarantee you that if you are not open-minded if it shows up the way you don’t PREFER it to, you will lose out.

6) Listening to and hanging out with the wrong people. Bad company corrupts good character. People who are negative and discouraging will eventually talk you out of your goals. They’ll scare you into thinking nothing good can ever happen to you. If you can’t completely dissociate, adjust how you interact with people who never have anything positive or encouraging to say – especially in affairs of love and marriage.

7) Engaging in fruitless dating. This is dating that leaves you worse than when you started. You take almost any guy up on his offer to take you out without listening to that inner knowing (BKA the Holy Spirit). And as a result, you date man after man and feel frustrated that your efforts were fruitless. If you want to be married, date like you want to be married.

8) Not breaking ties to past lovers. There are some pretty awful repercussions of having sex outside of marriage. An increased chance of getting STDs you can’t get rid of. Unwanted pregnancies. Broken hearts. But it only makes it worse when you hang on to those experiences by not breaking free from them. Take the time to heal from those and sever any soul and emotional ties to past lovers.