4 Things Mr. Wrong Taught Me

4 Things “Mr. Wrong” Taught Me

Family, Dating and Relationships
December 5, 2014
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December 2014 is here and I cannot believe how fast this year went by. If your life this year was anything like mine, it was full of change, curve balls but growth. And this year helped me realize how short life really is. And that, my friend, will ultimately make you unwilling to waste your time on certain people and situations. I’ll be honest and confess that very few things disappointment me more than having my time wasted.

I know a lot of women (and men) feel the same way I do when it comes to dating. But consider these 4 lessons I’ve learned from Mr. Wrong.

1) Sometimes it really isn’t you: As I’ve matured in life, I’ve realized that I went through some things in life because of ME. I know I’m not alone in learning that lesson, so it’s natural for us – when we have bad relationship experiences – to wonder “What did I do wrong this time”? But sometimes the other person is the reason for that relationship’s demise. If you know in your heart you’ve done and been your best and he still wronged or just didn’t want anything serious with you, accept that and move on so you can heal and embrace someone who will appreciate your best.

2) Sometimes you have to learn what you DON’T need/want: There’s so much power in the positive confession of what you DO want in life. Likewise, what you focus on grows. But sometimes experiencing what you absolutely do not want is valuable. It can give you a stronger resolve to not entertain it when you recognize it in a man who is requesting your time and energy. Sometimes being hurt is what it takes to open our eyes to seeing ourselves as God sees us. So if you were hurt or disappointed, learn from it. Then resolve to fiercely love yourself enough to never accept anything but God’s best in a man.

3) You have a choice: If you believe a man is wrong FOR or TO you, you have a choice. You can continue to waste your time and his. Or you can let go and have faith that God can arrange the meeting between you and a man who is perfect…FOR YOU. I think we get too caught up in finding the perfect man, or we hold onto unrealistic ideas of what a man should be. Or we really don’t believe that we deserve God’s best for us. Whatever it is, just know that you have a choice – to stay in a relationship that’s all wrong for you, or to improve your life in order to find yourself standing in front of a man who’s just right for you.

4) It’s okay if it doesn’t work out: When you wonder whether every man you meet could be the one, check yourself for desperation. Wanting it to work out with every man you meet with little to no proof that he’s a good match for you is dangerous. It means you have more consideration for what you want than you do for how it will affect you. And I know…I know it’s hard to be alright with things not working out when you feel like you’re running out of time or that you don’t meet very many men that you like. But trust me when I tell you…I know from experience that NOT saddling yourself down with men who very clearly aren’t for you will help you to actually meet men you like. It will also make you available to those men.

If you keep meeting men who you know in your HEART aren’t right for you, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes all you have to do is learn the lessons and keep going. Keep going until you meet men who show you that with God anything is possible!

What other lessons have you learned from dating or having relationships with the wrong man?