How to Handle Difficult People

Strategies for Professional Success: How to Handle Difficult People

For Christian Working Women, Strategies for Professional Success
June 28, 2016
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Hands down, dealing with snakes in the grass was one of the most difficult challenges I had to overcome when I hit the workforce. And as a woman in today’s military I definitely had my work cut out for me. Not only was I up against the daily challenges that came with the territory of my job, I was up against (sometimes) chauvinistic attitudes of men who didn’t want to work with or under women. I also had to deal with the microaggressions that come with being the “only one in the room”.

I’ll be transparent. I wasn’t prepared for it. Some of it caught me off guard to the point that I didn’t look at these things as an opportunity to strengthen my ability to overcome unfair and undue hardships. Instead, I withdrew – which made other people think I was difficult, when the truth was that I was only defending myself.

But now…let’s just say that I’ve learned MANY things about surviving hostile and unfriendly environments…and how to handle difficult people is one of them. I’ll give you some descriptions of what these people look like: defensive, argumentative, nit-picky (even if YOU are right), wishy-washy, intolerant of differences in race, gender or personal background, or know-it-all. And the big kicker is the one who comes to work every day…and I mean EVERY DAY…looking to make someone else miserable because they’re miserable at home and feel powerless to change it. Now, there are people who are labeled as difficult because they don’t wish to engage in the pettiness they see everyday or they have boundaries that they get tired of people violating. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who by all reasonable standards you can say that they know better than to do the things I listed above but they do them anyways. And chances are someone has told them about it numerous times but they have no desire to change it. So now that you know who they are, let’s talk about how to handle them:

1. Stick to the problem or topic at hand: The minute it turns into personal accusations, gossip or “sharing”, shut it down. These are all things that some difficult people use to throw YOU off the course. If this is your boss, you do have the right to keep your personal affairs private especially if this is someone who hasn’t earned your trust or has clearly displayed that they don’t care about you and only care about what you can do for them. Giving someone like this personal information about you is only going to give them ammunition against you. Because I guarantee that this information will come up at the most inopportune time in front of others.

2. Stay on top of your game: This one is for the difficult people who constantly look for opportunities to make someone else look bad. If you stay on top of your responsibilities – even those that involve elements that you don’t have the power or resources to change – and you’re in constant communication with those who have a pulse on what you do, you’ll have the control you need over your reputation…all day everyday.

3. Draw and maintain very clear boundaries: Difficult people have a hard time respecting people’s boundaries. And if you call them out on it, they have a justification for it. Yet, if you violate theirs they have no problems snitching on you or getting in your face. Ignore that and stick to your boundaries. Make sure they’re boundaries and not walls. Walls make it hard if not impossible for you to interact in healthy ways with others. But boundaries protect you from being eaten alive in working environments with people who feel they have to run over others to get ahead.

Do you have any strategies you personally use? Let’s talk and leave your comments below.