How to Move On From Dead-End Relationships

Family, Dating and Relationships
January 17, 2015
|
Comments Off on How to Move On From Dead-End Relationships

In the world of dating for marriage, finding out that you’ve spent months or even years with a man who doesn’t want to marry you can be devastating…

But if you’ve made this mistake, you can rebound. All it requires is a change in beliefs and then dating behaviors, and a resolve to heal from past decisions you made. If you’re ready to have what you truly desire – marriage and a family – you have to be willing to move on from dead-end relationships, past or present. Here’s how to start that process:

1) Accept the fact that a particular relationship is not going to get you “there”: Is it possible that 1 or 2 of those old relationships actually could have worked out? Sure. But here’s the thing. If you keep going back to a relationship where, after you’ve been open and honest about what you want (i.e., marriage and a family), and the man you keep going back to has proven that he does not want the same thing, you’re only making matters worse. You’re allowing your resolve to be worn down all while proving to him (and more importantly yourself) that what you want isn’t as important as what he wants. At this point, its wise for you to accept that this relationship isn’t going to meet your needs – now or likely ever. Accept the amount of time, energy and love you’ve invested just didn’t get you to your goal and resolve to choose and behave wisely in the future. Then cut ties and communication.

2) Be able to work through the alternative: of not having what you truly desire, that is. And let me put that into context. Once you put those dead-end relationships to rest, you have to be able to be able to make new decisions about potential new relationships going forward that are based on what you truly desire – not just what you believe you can get. Meaning, if you want to be married and you’re not posing ungodly barriers into the dating process, can you walk away from men who prove they don’t want marriage? If you can’t, you’re putting yourself right back into the situation you just worked so hard to free yourself from. Tying yourself up with and into men who don’t want marriage – although you really do. So if you keep meeting men who don’t want marriage, you have to be able to work through the possibility that you may never marry. But you also may just have to work through the possibility that what you truly want may just take a little longer than expected. Perhaps marriage is in your future, but you have to be willing to work through the reality of not having someone for “right now”.

If you’re struggling through letting go of past relationships, you CAN move forward if you really want to.

In fact, letting go is the first step towards meeting men that you think are a great match for you. If you need help or just want to be around other like-minded single women as you go through this journey, I invite you to join the “Let’s Talk About It Community” – a safe place for Christian women to talk about their life, relationship and professional challenges. Click the banner below to find out how to join: