Why You Should Have Romantic Relationship Goals

Family, Dating and Relationships
February 16, 2015
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I used to follow a coach – Christine Pembleton – who helped women date in a way that leads to marriage. One thing that she said that I believe rings true is that…

We have to treat our “love lives” like other parts of our lives.

Meaning, you can’t just leave it to chance and then wonder why you aren’t getting the results you want. The example that she used was that if a woman wanted to become a doctor or some other type of professional that required extensive study and qualifications, she would pursue all of those requirements to achieve her professional goals. She noted, however, that this attitude towards achieving “the goal” was lacking when it came to marriage. Meaning, so many women don’t believe in making marriage a goal. Somehow they think that’s the area of their life that God is supposed to work out. Or, they believe that “it will happen if it happens”. Or, they really do believe that somehow it just isn’t right to desire marriage and live their life accordingly.

The problem with these beliefs is that:

1) You wind up doing everything BUT living your life in a way that produces what you really do want – which is marriage and family

2) You get angry with God because HE hasn’t done anything to help you get married and have a family

3) You finally meet a man you like, fall in love with and want to marry – but because you didn’t take your own desire for marriage seriously, now you’re actually in a dead-end relationship with a man who has no intentions of marrying you (even though you’ve spent years living with him, having sex with him, and committing to him like a wife would commit to a husband).

I hope by reading this, if you are a woman who desires marriage I hope you are at least considering the possibility of why you should have romantic goals. And if you’re a single Christian woman, let me explain further before you go “church” on me. I know that “a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”. Which means that the man – according to God’s Word is supposed to find a wife and honor and love her like Christ loved the Church. But in order to find something it has to be findable. I mean, if you want someone to find your article, you maximize it’s SEO. If you want your ideal client to find your business, you find reputable ways to promote your business. If you want to make new friends, you go places to make that possible.

If you want a man who’s a great match for you to find you, you have to live your life in a way that allows that to happen.

I’m not talking about taking things into your own hands, chasing a man, or not allowing God to lead you through the process. I’m talking about learning how to partner with God to make a dream come true. I’m talking about doing your part. And there are MANY things you can do to INFLUENCE the likelihood of marrying a man that God approves of, without chasing a man down or conducting yourself in a way that is unpleasing to God. Because the truth is that God is pleased when you have goals and ask Him to guide you in pursuit of them. “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3, NLT)