Christian Dating: 5 Men You Want to Date (If You Want to Get Married)
In a previous blog post, I talked about men you want to AVOID if you want to get married.
This isn’t to be judgmental or to teach women to see themselves as better than anyone else. And I say this because I know I press hot buttons with people who believe that there is nothing wrong with let’s say casual sex, dating with no boundaries and not trying to apply biblical principles to your dating life. And truth be told there isn’t. Unless you are a Christian who is convicted by the truth of your faith, and you want to get married.
Plus, I know from experience and the experiences of the women I help that certain men will derail you off the path you need to stay on…IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED.
Think of it this way. If you had the goals of losing weight and gaining muscle mass, are you going to eat cake and ice cream every night while you sit on the couch and never exercise? I mean, you can…but forget about reaching your goal. Clean eating + exercise = weight loss/maintenance and building muscle mass. That being said… Dating like a future wife + only dating men who want marriage as well = greater chance of getting married. It’s not garaunteed. We live in a world with a lot of things we cannot control. But you CAN control how you spend your time, and who you give your time, love and body to. And if you want to get married, here are 5 men you want to date.
1. Mr. Overcomer: Ladies, none of us is perfect and we have all made mistakes. So a man who can admit to his flaws and has overcome things in life is one worth considering for marriage.
2. Mr. Faithful: I talked about wandering eyes, gawking and ogling in my previous post about men to avoid. And that’s because men who do this are highly likely to be unfaithful. Actions don’t just happen. They come out of a thought and then manifest as behaviors. So a man who has wandering eyes is thinking about his next move, no matter how he justifies his actions. If you want to get married, pay attention to whether or not the man you’re considering only has eyes for you. And pay attention to how he handles commitments to friends, work and family. If he’s loyal and faithful to those who matter the most chances are he’ll be faithful to you.
3. Mr. Respectful: Ladies, some of us have to learn how to embrace a man who respects your feelings and your boundaries. This may seem obvious, but if you grew up being treated as if your rights didn’t matter and you chose relationships that reflected that as well, you may have a hard time accepting love from a man who respects you. If this is you, let’s talk so we can get to the bottom of what’s causing you to waste time with men who disrespect you.
4. Mr. Leader: I’ve heard it said that a man who has a plan and vision for his life is a man who is likely to know whether or not you fit into his life. I think this is a partial truth. You have to be able to use discernment to draw out whether he is also the type of man who will know that you don’t fit into his plan, but string you along until he finds something better. Yes, assertiveness and vision are attractive. Just make sure that you can live with his leadership style and that God’s plan for your life meshes with his. Most importantly don’t get duped by someone who only wants to waste your time knowing that he has no intentions of committing to you.
5. Mr. “I actually, really do love God”: Men who love God are not always in the church. Churches hurt men just like women. Maybe your guy is in between churches. Or maybe he’s like one of many, many young people who want a safe church home that will actually be worth his while and hasn’t found it yet. So before you take the advice that you only want a man who fills certain positions in a church (i.e., pastor, youth group leader, small group leader, etc) take a look at the fruit in his life. Is he a praying man? Does he read and know his bible? Does he go a step further and actually try to apply what he reads to his every day life? Does he treat you and others with the same loving-kindness that God extends to us all? If so, you may have a winner on your hands!
Ladies, Christian men who love God DO exist – in larger numbers than you think. If you are struggling with meeting Christian men, check out my mini-audio course below with strategies that I actually use as a single, Christian woman!
Afi Ruel
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