Bosses Behaving Badly: Managing the Prejudiced Boss

Before I write anything else I want to put out a disclaimer. I am NOT creating this series to vent about every bad boss I’ve had. I AM writing this series because in my 10 years of experience as a commissioned officer in the United States Navy I’ve witnessed a lot of shocking and puzzling professional dynamics between senior and junior employees and peers. I’ve often been in the “counselor’s chair” listening to those who just don’t know what to do with the person in their chain of command who clearly is an ineffective leader, does not like them or who causes the types of problems that should be managing or preventing.

I’ve seen a lot. I’ve experienced some things. I’ve learned how to overcome and effectively deal with some hairy situations. And I know this knowledge is not just for me. It’s for every working woman who wants to make her mark in any professional place of business or service.

1.Get your facts together: Does he or she do this to everyone like you no matter how competent they are? What is their pattern of displaying prejudicial behavior? Do they make prejudicial comments in front of others or 1-on-1? How about via written communication? Have other employees like you complained of what you’re currently concerned about? You have to step outside your feelings about your boss and what he or she is doing to take a sober, objective look at his or her behavior. Once you have the facts and you can estalish that it’s a clear pattern of prejudicial behavior then you can make a determination on how you should deal with this person.

2. Familiarize yourself with your company’s policies: If your company has a zero tolerance policy for prejudicial behavior, find out from HR what steps they recommend you take to resolve the issue. And be sure to think through any final decision you make. You also have to be careful in how you ask for information. You don’t know who knows who in your company. In fact, if you make it clear that you’re asking how to take action against your boss, the person you’re talking to may go back and tell them. Which could escalate things even further.

3. Confront the unprofessional behavior: Don’t go to your boss and say “Because of x/y/z you’re clearly a racist/sexist/bigot”. Instead, say something along the lines of “I feel that I’m left out of x/y/z opportunities and I feel that I’m a match for those opportunities. I’d like to be considered for the next similar opportunity. Is there a reason why I was not considered for the last one?” This puts your boss on notice that you’ve picked up on their patterns but that you’re choosing to address the behaviors professionally. It also shows that you’re serious about your career despite what he or she is doing to you or not doing for you. Whatever this person says or does to you, stay focused on how it is impacting your career, not your feelings. That way, you are clear about how you need to respond professionally in order to still maintain and grow your career.

4. Cultivate a support system: The best way to manage a prejudiced boss is to have the support of those who are equals to him or her or who have more power than he or she does. You also want to be careful in how you share information with those who are your boss’s peers. Don’t signal that you’re asking about your boss specifically. Instead, try to glean information on how they deal with certain situations. The same thing goes for your peers. You don’t know who knows who. Don’t give any of your peers the ammunition they need to stab you in the back by repeating your confidences about a serious situation such as prejudice. Not all your peers or seniors are looking for backstabbing opportunities. But some are. You don’t want to give anyone a reason to ruin your career. You just want to cultivate a support system of peers and seniors who are willing to give you the guidance and support you need to overcome tough situations – some of which may involve prejudice.

If you need a support system, join the Let’s Talk About It Community, a safe place for women to talk about life, relationship and professional challenges.