When Goodbye comes Too Soon: Saying Goodbye to Loved Ones

When Goodbye Comes Too Soon: Saying Goodbye To Loved Ones

Family, Dating and Relationships
April 13, 2018
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Last weekend I attended the funeral for my only first cousin on my mom’s side of the family. He was my mom’s brother’s son. He’s the only cousin I spent enough time around to know and have memories of. One of the memories I have is when we went to six flags – I think in North Carolina. We went on this boat that rocked up and down, and around. I tried to jump off the ride. Rodney grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go. Rodney also did his best to keep up with me after I left home for college, but honestly…I’d been through things that made me shut down and isolate myself from most people – including family. So eventually he respected that, but he always responded when I reached out and when we talked it was like talking to an older brother. In fact, he chided me this past Thanksgiving when we (me, my mom and grandmother) called him for his birthday. “You know, you COULD call me, cuz”. And so I did…I video called him on Christmas and we talked for a little while. It was my plan to call him more often after that just to talk and see how he was doing.

So I had a hard time looking at him in a casket just a week after Easter. A 44-year-old man with a good heart, lots of friends, well loved and known in his town. A constant pranskter. He loved his 14 year old daughter. He loved his family. I don’t think I ever saw him angry. I won’t lie. I wondered how God could allow him to die but allow evil people to keep living. I know Rodney wasn’t perfect – none of us are. But his love pretty much was. I couldn’t hold back my tears watching his parents forcing themselves to let go of their only child. I couldn’t hold back my tears in church the weekend before while I was at the altar asking for prayer for him, for his soul. Thank God my prayer request was met by a hospital chaplain who comforted me by making the point that seeds were sown in Rodney’s spirit and that the Lord ministers to people even in an unconscious state.

Maybe my cousin’s death served some good. One of his friends basically said during the funeral that Rodney’s death was a wake up call. In a way it was for me too. It helped me to see how short life really is. It helped me to see that you really have to focus on the people who are there and who love you. It helped me see that you can’t keep giving your time and energy to people and things that won’t yield a return.

Rodney’s death still stung. And some losses leave sadness, bitterness and a sting that take a while to overcome. But at the end of the day, Rodney’s death stung too much for me to keep doing the same things that his death shed light on. His death stung too much for me to give up on dreams I still have yet to see, to not fully love others….to not fully love myself. To not fully love God. Perhaps God uses the sting to open our eyes and get us to move from one place to another.

Goodbye came too soon for Rodney. But his life and death have caused me to take a good look at my own. And when I leave here, I want to go like he did – well loved, having loved well, and having known the Lord, and having lived for the Lord.