When Is It Really Over With Your Ex?
I don’t know about you, but it seems like more and more, it’s common practice and preferable to “keep in touch” with and befriend your ex. But why? If your goal is to find a meaningful romantic relationship why would you stay in contact with a man who proved he was unfit for the institution of marriage or lacked the capacity to have a healthy relationship with you? And some of the articles I’ve seen seem to somewhat echo this sentiment. One even suggested that you’re approaching psychopathic tendencies if you prefer to stay in touch with an ex. I’m not sure I agree with that, but that leads me to ask – if you refuse to cut all ties, when is it really over with your ex?
I like this commercial because the young woman is just so cute. But I can’t help but ask…if you have that type of reaction when you accidentally dial your ex, why is his phone number still stored in your phone? Is he now like the relative you call every now and again, and you definitely don’t want to call more than necessary? Or is it that secretly you hope you two can get back together and work it out. No matter the reason as to why you still have ties to your ex, there is a right answer to the question: When is it really over with your ex? The answer to that question is that it’s really over when you cut all ties. No phone calls, no pop-ups at the house or job. No reminiscing over the good times while you forget the many more bad times that caused the break up. No entertaining his friends and family. And if necessary doing a total about-face should you see him in public by happenstance.
I know that sounds harsh and cold, but freedom isn’t free. You pay a price for it. And the price for the freedom to find the right man comes with cutting ALL ties with ALL the wrong ones. Trust me when I tell you that you certainly don’t want the right man wondering if it’s really over between you and your ex. You don’t want the chaos that comes with having found someone new, while being entangled with someone who keeps coming back because you won’t close the door. I know we’re taught that it’s better to be nice. But I agree with Drake when it comes to your destiny. Nice for what? Especially if it’s going to cost you your destiny with the right man. And anyways, men aren’t socialized to be nice. I think it’s something many learn when they interact with us. That being said, there’s a high chance that if cutting you off was required to find or keep his Mrs. Right, he would do it – no questions asked.
So if you believe there’s nothing wrong with staying in contact with him, you can keep Mr. Ex’s number in your phone. Just count the cost and I hope that an accidental butt-dial doesn’t take you on another path you never intended to travel.
If you’re entertaining your ex because deep down inside you believe you don’t have any other options…please know that you do! If you need some inspiration and strategy on meeting single Christian men, get “Afi’s Prayer Guide for Single Christian Women”.
Afi Ruel
Afi is a US Navy veteran, blogger and author. Her mission is to help you overcome your life, relationship and professional challenges.
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