Nappily Ever After: What Happens When You're You, Part 2 | Author of My Faith: Encouragement for Today's Christian Woman

Nappily Ever After: What Happens When You’re You, Part 2

Let's Talk, Lifestyle for Christian Women
October 8, 2018
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Last time I shared the first takeaway from Violet in Nappily Ever After. I truly liked the movie because Violet was so relatable and likeable once she started to embrace who she really was. SO…

Here’s part 2 of this video blog series:

Being who a man wants is a dangerous goal:

Violet had been conditioned to do this, because her mother made her perform for her acceptance. She was brainwashed to believe she had to maintain the perfect hair and the perfect image in order to be successful in life and in love. And in order to not get the evil stares and cutting remarks her mother seemed to enjoy handing out.

But every time a woman silences or changes herself to be what a man wants, she loses. Because here’s the thing I’ve noticed about what men (and women) say they want…they seem to hate you when you give it to them. I’ve often wondered why. I think it partly has to do with the fact that people who make certain types of demands in relationships are immature. And immature people use and dump people despite their best efforts. Another part is that those certain types of demands really aren’t required for making a real, lasting connection or relationship. They’re often rooted in vanity, shallowness and selfishness. And the more you give in to a person like that, the more they disrespect, use, abuse and hate you.

I know hate is a strong word, but Violet’s boyfriend had some strong words for her right before she broke up with him. He basically said that even though she was perfect, that perfection kept him from knowing the real her. And this dude had some nerve considering she popped up on him with another woman he seemed to be in a sexual relationship (not even 2 weeks after they broke up). When he later came back to the apartment and they rekindle their relationship, he admits that even though Violet succeeded in meeting his standards of perfection, he still tried to find fault in her…because he had issues.

I think had Violet had more time away from this man it would have taken more effort on his part for her to rekindle. I think had she been further along in her self-discovery process she would have take the time to communicate her true feelings and see if reconnecting was really worth it. Although she seemed to cave in, in the end, she saw clearly that being this man’s wife would require her to be who she is not. And I was so proud of her for walking away from him and a future marriage in order to be true to who she really is.

Let’s Talk: Why do you think Violet chose to try and make things work with her ex?

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