Nappily Ever After: What Happens When You're You, Part 3 | Author of My Faith: Encouragement for Today's Christian Woman

Nappily Ever After: What Happens When You’re You, Part 3

Let's Talk, Lifestyle for Christian Women
October 15, 2018
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Last time I shared the second takeaway I had from Violet in Nappily Ever After.

Here’s part 3 of this video blog series:

The price of perfection just isn’t worth it:

Violet’s anxiety about the weather is one of a few reasons I don’t press my hair straight except for maybe a few times a year. The first reason is because I had a pressout that permanently damaged my hair in 2013. I had to grew it back out and then cut off all the damaged hair. Another reason is because of rain, humidity and sweat. You see, when women of color with curly hair wet their hair after it’s been pressed straightened, it curls back up. And I like to workout, which causes sweat, and I like being outdoors even if it’s raining just a little bit. So I’m a little to active to maintain the “straight natural” look on a regular basis. But imagine you’re not like me and you’re spending a few hours pressing it straight just to have it curl back up because it rained. Imagine not working out, going for walks, swimming or engaging in any activity that would expose your hair to humidity or water. And you have to do this everyday, because instead of just wearing your hair curly, you insist on keeping it flat-ironed straight. That’s sounds crazy right? But when you’ve been taught that perfection is the exact opposite of who you naturally are, you’re willing to make your asisstant watch and report the forecast to you and recruit your closest friends to do the same. You’re willing to exhaust yourself from the anxiety of running from things that will cause your natural hair to revert to it’s natural state. Violet said it was amazing how much time she had to do other things after she cut her hair off because tending to it was like a second job. A second job that she gladly put hours into because she was taught that the end result was perfection.

What I love most about this movie was when Violet was making the pitch about natural hair products to an executive. And the executive asked her “Why would I sell something that undercuts what I already sell?” Her response was that he would be giving women options which included embracing their hair in it’s natural state. And that he also had the opportunity to be one of the first to do it because this shift was going to happen anyways. It made me think of my time in the military. I wore my hair in it’s natural state the entire time and all the harassment and evil eye stares directed towards my hair was unbelievable. But I refused to change my hair to make it straight simply because I had the right to be me. Although I’m no longer in the military, I was so overjoyed last year when I saw how Black women in the Armed Forces stood up for their right and had the hair regulations changed to be inclusive of Black hair and hairstyles.

The Word of God says that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. That God knew us before we were even knit in our mother’s womb. What a slap in the face it is to God to change how he created us because we believe lies that it’s ugly or unacceptable. And woe to those to make others believe that about themselves.

So instead of buying into the beauty and character standards of others, let’s look to the one who made us and embrace ourselves as we are.

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